Playful Parenting

After 3 years away from the classroom, I’m heading back to teaching. There is a lot I could be anxious about if I let my mind go there. I have 2 brand new courses to prep, I have to figure out the new covid procedures, and how this remote learning thing works. I have to shift my pedagogy to accommodate the new rules. I have to buff up my name game; 100 new students to get to know by name while only meeting them every second day, and I won’t even get to see them without a mask on. But, as we head into the Christmas holidays, it’s not my impending career shift that I’m worried about. What I’m most anxious about is being at home with my own kids for the next few weeks! They’re lovely and they’re terrible and they’re beautiful and they’re . . . kids. You get it. I don’t have to sugar coat this. I love them and they’re a gift from God; truly. But the vocation of parenting is as exhausting as it is fulfilling. My 8 and 6 year old will, no doubt, complain about being hungry 2 minutes after they finish their meals. We’ll begin our war of how much tv they get to watch. They’ll find my weakest moment, I’ll give in, they’ll watch more than the recommended guidelines, I’ll regret the decision and wonder if their brains will ever recover. And my youngest, who will be 3 years old this February, is sure living up the third child liberties we often resign to him. Even if we could offer him our undivided attention, he is exercising his free will. He likes to throw things when he’s mad, he likes to yell when he feels like he’s not being heard, he likes to push the boundaries like a 2 year old knows how.

A friend of mine sent me an article this week called, “How Inuit Parents Teach Kids to Control Their Anger” (link at the end of this post). It’s fascinating how their traditional method of storytelling is used in their parenting. Instead of yelling at the children to warn them of danger, they tell of sea monsters that will swallow them up if they’re too close to the water. Instead of nagging them to listen more, they may check their children’s ears for earwax, telling them too much earwax meant they were not listening. They parent playfully and the kids watch and learn that you don’t need to yell to handle your emotions. I’m not sure if I’ll have enough stories to keep my kids out of danger without yelling, or if I’ll have the patience to play out scenarios of their misbehaviour to show them the natural consequences, but it’s worth a try. In my first attempt at it I’ve already realized how thoughtful you must become about what you are making rules about. What is the natural consequence of throwing oranges on the floor? I don’t know. You just don’t do it? Miller and I figured out together that once he was invited to throw the rest of them on the floor (which was a lot of fun for both of us), there weren’t any left for a snack. It can’t be a ball and an orange. We’ll have to put them back in the bowl to become oranges again.

So if you’re entering this last week of school before the holidays with some trepidation, maybe this article can offer you some playful parenting ideas to help keep your spirits up.

-Aly